but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize