Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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