I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
