The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize