i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
