I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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