yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
