I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
