Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize