i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
