your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Bring me that man meat
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
