She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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