There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
