I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
