i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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