he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
