So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You are a genius and a whore.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize