you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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