ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
