Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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