Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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