You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
