the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Everyone says I win the strip club
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
