you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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