is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
