That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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