that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize