I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I feel like abortions should bother me more
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
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