i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I wish they made helmets for livers.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
