im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
we're chasing vodka with high fives
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
