I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize