you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
