UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
