I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
