You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
