just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize