is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
