No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
