this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
