Having a random hookup so left but love u
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
