You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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