note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
