So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
