I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
