Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
