True but thats because hes a fetus.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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