i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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