Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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