I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
