'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
