It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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