Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize