Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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