If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
