that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
