whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
