i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
