Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Randomize
