Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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