i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize