If i come over, it means nothing
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
