Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
