i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
So much rum. So many feels.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
