He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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