and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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