Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
